Friday, August 15, 2014

Flip-Flopper

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We're keeping the commentary short today because Hope n' Change is actually in favor of the president's recent authorization of military activity in Iraq to help protect religious minorities under siege by Islamic militants on Mount Sinjar.

We just wish that everyone could back off from using the phrase "boots on the ground" for awhile, as it's an unhelpful oversimplification of America's options in dealing with a complex and volatile situation.

And frankly, we're more interested in hearing that American boots are way, way up ISIS's ass.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Barry The Hatchet

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Responding to former Secretary of State Hillary's Clinton's criticism (and that of many others in both parties) of Barack Obama's decision not to arm Syrian rebels back when it could have been helpful in slowing the spread of ISIS, the president exploded in a private meeting and declared the attacks on his foreign policy acumen to be "horseshit" - the second dirtiest word he knows (the first dirtiest word being "capitalism").

This is widely believed to be only the opening salvo between Hillary and the eternally failing president as she begins distancing herself from him in preparation for a 2016 presidential run.

Soon she'll be dropping intriguing little conversational bon mots to reporters like "Actually, nobody knows where the hell the president was the night of Benghazi, but he probably wasn't doing blow or having butt sex," and "Leon Panetta and I still laugh about the look on the faces of Valerie Jarrett and Barack when they found out we'd bypassed them and ordered Seal Team Six to take out Bin Laden. Good times!"

In preparation for this, the president has called for a massive build-up in his stockpile of obscenities, although he absolutely draws a red line at potentially calling his former Secretary of State the "c-word" because, painfully, it was his nickname at Harvard.

Democrats are suffering high levels of anxiety about suddenly having to choose sides between Barry and Hillary, unsure if they'd rather be considered racists or sexists.  And of course, there's the very real fear on the Left that the hostilities may turn into a full-blown war.

Which is why Hope n' Change suggests that John Kerry be enlisted as a mediator between the two sides. It's not like he's getting anything else accomplished.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Bush League

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Perhaps to cushion the blow of losing his leadership during his semi-monthly vacation, Barack Obama took time Saturday to remind the American people that he isn't actually responsible for leading diddly-squat, at least when it comes to showing accountability.

Specifically, the nation's golfer-in-chief took pains to point out that the current fiasco in Iraq can be blamed entirely on George W. Bush.

"When you hear people say, do you regret, Mr. President, not leaving more troops," Obama said while sucking a Slurpee, "that presupposes that I would have overridden the sovereign government [of Iraq] that [the previous administration] had turned the keys back over to!"

In other words, Obama claims he would never think of updating or altering a sacred policy of Bush's nor, as leader of the free freaking world and commander in chief of the most powerful military force on Earth, did he have the political influence to convince Iraq's rulers to let the U.S. maintain a stabilizing military presence.

Of course, all of this makes it pretty hard to explain why Obama has spent so much time on the campaign and fundraising trails taking complete credit for ending the war in Iraq and withdrawing troops when he's now saying that Bush was the one responsible for all that.

Which makes Hope n' Change think that maybe Barry should give his 5-star luxury vacation to the man who earned it: George W. Bush.

Or at least take a damn vacation from blaming Bush for his own foreign policy failures.