Friday, April 10, 2015

Cheney Reaction

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, dick cheney, worst president, take America down, carter
Forget Iran's nuke-seeking mullahs - the real fireworks in this week's political scene happened when Dick Cheney went nuclear on Barack Obama's well-deserving keister.

Appearing on a radio interview with host Hugh Hewitt, the former Vice-President was asked to assess Barry's (ahem) "vision" for the policies he's executing in the Middle East. To which Mr. Cheney replied, "I think his actions are constituted in my mind as those of the worst president we've ever had."

And even though many of us would also call that the most obvious statement ever made, very few in either politics or the media have had the courage - and love of country - to say it.

But that wasn't even the best thing Mr. Cheney said. For us, it was this:

"If you had somebody as president who wanted to take America down, who wanted to fundamentally weaken our position in the world and reduce our capacity to influence events, turn our back on our allies and encourage our adversaries, it would look exactly like what Barack Obama’s doing."

Hope n' Change has made this same point repeatedly, but it can't be said often enough. The debate over whether Obama is damaging our country by intent or by ineptitude is entirely meaningless, because either way his actions are the same...and are causing the same chaos.

Is it Evil or Stupidity that has caused Obama to ignore ISIS, give up our victories in the Middle East, turn his back on Israel and other allies, and decide that a nuclear-armed Iran is a good thing?

Is it Evil or Stupidity that keeps Obama from bringing our runaway debt under control, causes him to wage war on our nation's energy resources, and demonize the most productive citizens?

Is it Evil or Stupidity which inspires Obama to issue threats against any border agents who attempt to enforce the law rather than stemming the tide of illegals flooding our country (including another 39,000 juveniles heading our way).

Is it Evil or Stupidity that motivates Obama to keep stoking the fires for a race war in our country while doing everything in his power to keep Black Americans on their knees?

And the answer is, ironically, "what difference does it make?"  Because Obama's intentions don't matter if the end result of his actions is the crippling of America.

Nor do the intentions of his supporters, be they evil or stupid. Or quite possibly both.

lefty lucy, liberal, progressive, political, humor, cartoon, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, clueless, young, red hair, green glasses, cute, democrat, dick cheney, obama, worst president, take america down, hillary, clinton
Once again, sexism raises its ugly head.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Hell To Pay

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, income tax, taxes

Hope n' Change isn't commenting on news today because we're working on our taxes and it's critically important that we make sure all of our paperwork is in order. And by paperwork, we're referring to our airline tickets and passports.

We're kidding (mostly), although a run for the border almost seems preferable to the unending hell of trying to figure out Kafka-esque IRS forms which seem to have been poorly translated from their original Martian. Oh sure, we use Turbotax software - but so did former Obama financial bag-man Timothy Geithner, and his taxes were off by tens of thousands of dollars (in his own favor). Not that anyone cared.

And although the Feds don't seem to be putting much effort into finding blatant tax cheats like Al Sharpton (hint: he was at the freaking White House yesterday) who owes 3.7 million dollars, we suspect that we would receive somewhat less leniency owing to the fact that our entire business model is based on calling the president an anti-American douche-noodle.

And don't even start us on Lois Lerner, or the fact that the IRS has been spending buttloads of money on AR-15's and boxcars of ammunition while utterly failing to upgrade their 1960's-era computer technology. Or the fact that if you call the IRS for help, you'll probably get a wrong answer. Or at least you would if they were answering their helpline phones - but they're not, owing to budget shortfalls quite possibly caused by the fact that they've misplaced billions of dollars and (oops!) forgot to keep any records of where the money went. Even IRS Commissioner John Koskinen refers to IRS customer service as "abysmal."

So, now that we've doubled down on asking for an audit, we really want to make sure we've got everything in order when we file our return. Which currently means we need to go hunting for a previously unknown form that the self-employed need to fill out and send to the government to show how much we paid ourselves this year. They will then compare this form to the amount we report on our actual taxes, just to see if we're too stupid to report the same number in both places.

The form itself is available online in PDF format, as is the special instruction that more or less says "if you print this form for the love of all that's holy, don't use it." The IRS then directs you to download information document "part O" so you can look up the fines you'll have to pay if you do use their downloadable form. And sadly, we're not making this up.

Still, all of the frustration is worth it in the end if it means we're contributing our "fair share" to a government that will spend our hard-earned money carefully, wisely, and frugally.

No doubt on about 30 seconds of the Obama family's next luxury vacation.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, income tax, taxes

Monday, April 6, 2015

He Dyed For You

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, easter, egg, 2015, Let's Move, Gimme Five, exercise
Yes, that's the actual "crucified Easter Bunny" artwork that your taxes paid for.
Easter is a day when people stop to reflect on the importance of faith, morality, and responsibility in their lives and ask: "What would Jesus do?"

And the answer, according to the White House, is push-ups. Jesus would do lots and lots of push-ups. Or at least this seems to be the thinking at the 2015 White House Easter Egg Roll being held today (Sunday was reserved, of course, for golfing) which has once again been turned into a fitness event.

Picking one of the lesser known passages from the Bible, the event's theme is "Gimme Five," and will feature healthy eating tips, cooking demos, and activities which will "encourage children to lead healthy, active lives in support of the First Lady's Let's Move intiative."

To make sure the 35,000 attendees don't forget the true meaning of the day, the official (and safely inedible) White House Easter Eggs each carry a portrait of the Easter Bunny wearing running shorts and a sweat band...which is a lot like a crown of thorns, only washable.

On the flip side of the eggs, a few words are inscribed to give comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of faith in these troubled times. The words are: "Barack Obama" and "Michelle Obama." And in the spirit of eternal sellvation, you can buy the official set of five eggs for $29.99. Which means you'll get a penny back from your 30 pieces of silver.

Predictably, some people are annoyed that the White House has taken one of the most sacred days on the Christian calendar and turned it into an entirely secular jazzercise class. But out of journalistic integrity, Hope n' Change won't pass judgement on the Obamas quite yet.

First, we want to see if they ask any of the guests at this year's White House Ramadan celebration to do squat thrusts.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, easter, egg, 2015, Let's Move, Gimme Five, exercise, pope
Maybe this is what the Obamas think the Pope is actually saying in Latin...