Friday, August 28, 2015


We would never say that the cold-blooded murder of two young television journalists, broadcast live, is much ado about nothing. But we will say that too much of the rhetoric we're hearing in the aftermath amounts to much ado about a no one.

Specifically, a no one who was a loser, a whiner, and - most importantly - an asshole.

The shooter, himself a former (and serially incompetent) wannabee TV journalist, desperately wanted attention - so Hope n' Change isn't going to give it to him. We won't use his name (either his real name, or on-air name), or quote from his masturbatory "manifesto."

We won't grant him the significance of representing anyone else except, perhaps, other assholes. It doesn't matter that he was black. It doesn't matter that he was gay. It doesn't matter who he supported politically, or what delusional agenda he was hoping to set in motion by committing murders and showcasing them on social media.

We don't think that this particular asshole was interesting or important enough to inspire debate on gun laws, mental health treatment, workplace racism, or political correctness. He wasn't indicative of anything about our society, other than that it's teeming with assholes who act unpredictably, and sometimes good and innocent people will tragically be unable to get out of their way.

But speaking of assholes (we segued deftly), Barack Obama's comment on this horrific shooting was wildly inappropriate: "What we know is that the number of people who die from gun-related incidents around this country dwarfs any deaths that happen through terrorism."

Really, Barry? Do you really think that this is the time for you to once again insert yourself as the apologist-in-chief for radical Islam, and that the lesson to be learned from these tragic deaths is that terrorism is no big deal?!

Granted, if we look at the past few years, there are far more deaths caused in Chicago alone by gun-wielding thugs than by terrorists nationwide. Not that Barry is doing anything - anything - to stem the pandemic of black-on-black inner city violence.

But it's doubly troubling when he treats terrorism as a game which can be played by statistics alone.  The number of deaths by terrorism spiked dramatically on September 11th, and could do so again at any time - making a mockery of gun death numbers.

In much the same way that Obama claims the only options for dealing with Iran are utter capitulation or all-out war, he's floating the preposterous notion that America can fight gun violence or terrorism but not both. That's not only preposterous, but it's morally reprehensible political opportunism of the worst kind.


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Running on Empties - Pupdate 2015

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Hope n' Change has received no compensation from Black Velvet for this endorsement. Damn it.
When better than the dog days of summer to report on, um, the dog days of summer? Which is why we're sharing this update on Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) and her favorite game. We've tried lots of toys, but her absolute favorite is an empty (and thoroughly rinsed) whiskey bottle with one marble dropped inside. We shake it tantalizingly, pitch it across the yard (the spout has a nice "German hand grenade" feel) and Penny fetches it. Or rather, she grabs it and brings it close enough for us to wrestle it away from her bared fangs - carefully counting our fingers afterward.

Frankly, it seems ironic that nothing makes her happier than an empty whiskey bottle, while few things make us sadder. Still, considering the unrelentingly negative nature of the news and Penny's delight with empties, it seems like we've struck the perfect symbiosis.

Penny will turn two in a couple of months and, despite the fact that she sometimes barks and chews the corner of our desk during critical editorial sessions, she's an ongoing joy to the Jarlsberg family.

What do you think - is it time to put Bark Obama and Joe Bitem back into the rotation?

Great Expectorations

Monday, August 24, 2015

Naive American

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Whether she lives in a wigwam or tepee, the race is definitely getting in tents!
If you happened to encounter political cartoonists and comedians high-fiving over the weekend, it was almost certainly due to the news that Joe Biden met with Elizabeth Warren to strategize about the 2016 election.

With Hillary increasingly looking like she's more likely to end up in the big house than the White House, Biden is thought to be kicking his creaky campaign machinery into gear. Of course, he has something of a financial disadvantage owing to the fact that he hasn't been actively fundraising yet (nor, like Hillary, selling American influence abroad) but this might well be counterbalanced by adding a popular minority-status VP candidate who is willing to work for beads and trinkets.

Frankly, the possibilities of this pairing seem like comedy gold, and darned if Hope n' Change is going to use up all our jokes now in case we need to stretch them out over the next year.

If they don't use this as their slogan, it could still make a good Disney film title.

Another day, another stomach-churning video, another yawn from the media and the Left.

But Hope n' Change would like to salute the many, many people who participated in peaceful protests against the anti-life abuses of Planned Parenthood this weekend. Abortion may well be here to stay, but profiteering, law-breaking, and flagrant disregard of human dignity doesn't have to be.

By the way, the executive who shared the above bit of wisdom was laughing about it.