Friday, October 23, 2015

Benghazi After All These Years

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As much as we'd like this to be a truly definitive commentary about Hillary's testimony at the Benghazi hearing, at the time of this writing there are still hours to go...so we'll just have to do the best we can.

In a nutshell, Hillary has been doing a fine job of being imperious, calm, and inhumanly disinterested in the deaths for which she has accepted "responsibility" but not blame. Much like Jack the Ripper, you have to at least give her credit for being skilled at her craft.

Elijah Cummings, the ranking (emphasis on "rank") Democrat on the committee has spent the day covering Hillary's ass like a pair of overstretched panties from Lane Bryant, actually going so far as to pronounce the entire committee a political construct with no other purpose than to hurt Hillary's chances to become president. It is worth noting that Cummings knows for a fact that this isn't true, essentially giving him the same culpability (albeit after the fact) as the terrorists who burned our embassy and murdered American citizens.

As for Hillary, she seemed unbothered by the revelations that on the night of the attack she sent an email to Chelsea saying that it was a planned attack from Al Qaeda affiliates, and the next day she had a phone call with the Egyptian prime minister in which she explicitly stated that the attack had nothing to do with any Youtube video.

Days later, of course, she trotted out the Youtube video story while speaking in front of the coffins of our dead...she shared it with the families who had lost their sons...Susan Rice took the lie to the Sunday news shows...and then Barack Obama took the completely fictitious story to the United Nations, where he disparaged America's freedom of speech and declared that "the future must not belong to those who would slander Islam."

All lies.

And all to cover Hillary's hiney for her complete ineptitude in office, and to cover Barry's ass for his ludicrous campaign claim (damn near his ONLY campaign claim) that "GM is alive, Bin Laden is dead, and Al Qaeda is on the run."

So - is the media exploding over these revelations? They are not. It's relatively safe to say that the media gives not a single damn, too few care about the truth on the Republican side, and no one cares about the truth on the Democratic side except to the extent that they want to hide it.

So as long as Hillary looks calm and composed while lying (which, we should note, sociopaths find remarkably easy) it seems likely that she'll sail through this hearing and be that much closer to being nominated to run for president.

And should our nation be unfortunate enough (but perhaps deserving enough) to see her win that high office, we can only pray that her personal security will be no greater than that of Ambassador Chris Stevens.


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Cool Crock, Ahmed

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It's been a big week for young Ahmed Mohamed, the budding genius who figured out how to stuff the guts of an electric clock into a pencil case. First he got to meet with Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir, the genocidal "Butcher of Darfur." Talk about a childhood dream come true!

Next, the Council on American-Islamic Relations named him "The American Muslim of the Year," apparently for going 365 days without killing anyone. Which, make no mistake, we think is a good thing - although we're not quite sure why it deserves a trophy.

But best of all, Ahmed was finally able to make good on Barack Obama's tweeted invitation to the White House, where he attended the 2nd annual "Astronomy Night" along with luminaries like climate change evangelist Bill Nye "The Science is Settled Dammit" Guy, and 11 astronauts who have participated in NASA's exciting Muslim outreach program and occasionally actually gone into space thanks to Islam's dramatic contributions to rocket science.

Well, actually the contribution wasn't that dramatic. Centuries ago,  Muslims "invented" a symbol to represent the already-existing concept of "zero" - that symbol being a simple circle ("You know - for kids!").  We're not quite sure how this translates to putting a man on the moon, but surely the president couldn't say it if it wasn't true.

Interestingly, Ahmed didn't have his (ahem) "clock" with him and he didn't get any quality one-on-one time with Mr. Obama... no doubt because the Secret Service takes security a lot more seriously than the president wants our nation's schools to do.

BONUS: ET TU, YOUTUBE?

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Tomorrow, Hillary Clinton will give testimony before Congress's special Benghazi committee, and Hope n' Change is hoping for fireworks. And we're not talking about snap, crackle, and pop fireworks - we want Boom! BOOM! KA-BOOOOOOM! fireworks.

The focus of questioning is not expected to be on Hillary's blatant email issues and total disregard in the handling of classified materials, but rather on the four Americans who died horribly in Benghazi, why she did not provide them with requested security, and why she pushed an untrue (but politically expedient) story about the attack being caused by a Youtube video.

As much as we'd like to see Trey Gowdy score a slam dunk on the cackling Clinton, it won't be easy. She's a talented and practiced liar, evidence has been obscured and destroyed, the political legitimacy of the committee has been (unfairly) called into question, and of course there's the possibility of "bad optics" if the woman who claims she can stand up to Vladimir Putin seems "bullied" by the harsh questioning of an insensitive penile-American.

Whatever happens, we're guessing it will be interesting. And, unlike the Youtube video, actually watched.

* * * * BREAKING NEWS: BIDEN NOT RUNNING * * * *

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Monday, October 19, 2015

Berning the Embassy

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Helpful tech tip: regularly check your email "spam folder" for urgent requests begging for more security.

It seems likely that it's all over but the screaming (literally) on the Democratic nomination front, after Bernie "I'm only using one-tenth of one percent of my brain" Sanders declared during last week's alleged debate that "the voters are sick and tired of hearing about her damn emails" and would prefer to hear about real issues.

Apparently "real issues," to Bernie, don't include national security, accountability from government officials, ferreting out corruption in high office, influence peddling, dereliction of official duties, lying to the American public, and more. No, he's too busy railing against rich people (like Mrs. Clinton) who game the system (like Mrs. Clinton) with the help of Wall Street (like Mrs. Clinton) while using every legal dodge available to avoid taxes (like Mrs. Clinton and her fraudulent "Foundation").

Of course, he's also against those who opposed LGBT issues (like Mrs. Clinton), and those who pushed for military action overseas (like Mrs. Clinton), and those who don't pay female workers as much as male workers (like Mrs. Clinton).

All of which raises serious questions about how and why Bernie gave Hillary the gift of public absolution for her sins (just before she'll be forced to testify on Benghazi this week) and yet be sincere about his presidential run?

The answer, of course, is that he's not serious and never has been. He has been Hillary's co-conspirator from day one, in the race only to allow her radical Leftist ideology to seem "moderate" when compared to Sanders' raving, spit-flecked, anti-capitalist insanity.

For quite awhile, Hope n' Change almost wanted to give Bernie credit for at least being sincere in his wacky beliefs - but all that changed when he deliberately threw the race to a woman who is the literal embodiment of all he claims to despise.

The man is a complete whore.

BONUS: MISSILE-ING THE POINT

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Actually, it's no sure thing that either our nation or the world will see the next election thanks to the Middle East mischief being cooked up by B. Hussein's close personal friends in Iran.

It seems that on October 10th, Iran test launched a new generation medium-range ballistic missile "inherently capable of carrying a nuclear weapon" in riotously flagrant violation of their agreement with the United Nations not to do so.

Obama has shrugged this off as largely meaningless, because the tough, tough, tough agreement John Kerry "negotiated" doesn't place any restrictions on Iran's missile program and therefore this troubling development doesn't mean a thing in relation to our peachy-keen deal.

Oh sure, some skeptics might find it troubling that we only have Iran's word that they're not hastily cobbling together nuclear warheads to go on those missiles. And that we've just gotten a huge reminder that Iran doesn't keep its word and never has.

But to those skeptics, America's most brilliant president has but one thing to say: "HEY! LOOK OVER THERE! CLIMATE CHANGE!"